Burnout, bonuses and the illusion of success

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December 3, 2025

On December 3, 2025

There’s something quietly corrosive about the illusion of success. When you climb the career ladder, the suits slowly become sharper, bonuses become fatter and LinkedIn bios begin to glow to prestige. But behind such well-tailored images, things are not always what they seem.

Not all high-earning professionals are thriving. Some are quietly unravelling. Financial and emotionally stretched, many of us appear ‘fine’ until suddenly, we are not.

Not all high-earning professionals are thriving. Some are quietly unravelling. Financial and emotionally stretched, many of us appear ‘fine’ until suddenly, we are not

This is a phenomenon which I have seen repeatedly across my years working with clients and colleagues, dealing with a number of successful companies. These individuals earn enviable incomes, but as their lifestyles and obligations become heavier, they find themselves both earning six figures and hanging on a thread.

There is a particular kind of burnout that exists among the ‘successful’, one that is harder to detect because, outwardly, it all still looks so polished.

If you are earning a high salary and paying your taxes, it is easy to assume that everything is in order. But when we put the same finances through proper cashflow modelling, it becomes apparent just how precarious things sometimes are.

The assumption that high earnings equals’ financial security is misguided. I have worked with clients earning multiple six figures, but living month-to-month, and unable to invest meaningfully or to absorb a financial shock.

In private banking circles, the conversation tends to centre around assets under management and investment performance, but often that is just one part of a much more complex picture. The more urgent question is: what are people doing with their money?

Pressure to perform

Here is the story of one of our clients who typified this pattern.

After a big pay rise, this client was able to access more competitive mortgage options. However, he instead opted to finance a luxury car which was nearly triple the cost of his previous vehicle.

With the new cost added to his bills, his disposable income ended up lower than it was before the pay rise. He was not willing to part with the car, so his mortgage remained expensive. Overall, the desire to show off his wealth made him financially worse off.

This relentless urge to signal success traps many people, particularly in industries where perception matters as much as performance.

In private banking, we work with individuals used to living in rarefied environments: partners at law firms, tech execs, hedge fund managers. These are people who feel the pressure to perform both in boardrooms and at school gates, country clubs, and on social media.

Silent but deadly

Another client had more than £100,000 ($133,000) in credit card debt but saw no issue with it. He paid off the minimum amount each month, and there was no end to the debt in sight, which was stacking up.

These ‘silent’ costs — saying yes to family requests, a few more holidays, a fancier car — all add up. And often, high-earning individuals jump to these before ensuring their emergency funds and planning for their future stability.

It is easy to dismiss these as cautionary tales. But they are not rare. And they are not always dramatic.

Often, there is a slow build. A few bad habits, a refusal to say no, or the absence of clear planning. People do not tend to ask for help until they are underwater. And by then, the real cost is not just financial; it is psychological.

People do not tend to ask for help until they are underwater. And by then, the real cost is not just financial; it is psychological

What these stories point to, again and again, is a need for a different kind of financial planning, one that does not solely focus on investing but also on helping individuals manage their relationship with money.

A modern financial adviser or wealth manager must act not only as an asset allocator or stock selector, but as a coach, a trainer and sometimes a much-needed mirror.

Our job is to help clients see the whole picture, not just the highlights reel. That means engaging with the messy stuff — debt, overspending, fear, ego — and doing so without judgement.

It also means having the courage to challenge the narratives which clients tell themselves. No, a new car will not validate your promotion. No, putting a family holiday on a credit card is not harmless, if you don’t have an emergency fund. No, your bonus does not exempt you from long-term planning.

Great expectations

This work is sensitive and also essential. At the end of the day, burnout is not only about work; it is also about the weight of unsustainable expectations and the pressure to constantly perform. Planning can provide stability, clarity and, crucially, the permission to slow down.

The landscape of wealth is becoming more complex and our approach to managing it needs to be more nuanced.

This means going beyond tax allowances and asking deeper questions: what is this wealth for? What kind of life is it supposed to support? Are we building something sustainable or just keeping up appearances?

Most of us don’t need another spreadsheet. We need to sit with ourselves and think about our relationship with money. We need to read between the lines of our income and our lifestyle and rewrite our story, according to our own goals and expectations. The illusion of ‘doing well’ is just that — an illusion and behind it, too many brilliant, capable people are burning out quietly, hoping no one notices.